With the start of the NFL season, we’re kicking off our very own Chuck Quick Hits. Let us know what you think!
TB 31 – DAL 29:
Dak is back! Brady doesn’t care.
CAR 19 – NYJ 14:
Sam Darnold plays with his shiny new toy while his old friends sadly look on.
PHI 32 – ATL 6:
Devonta Smith is for real. The Falcons are the Falcons.
SF 41 – DET 33:
Niners build insurmountable lead. Lions almost surmount it… until Goff pulls out the rarely seen game-losing intentional grounding.
PIT 23 – BUF 16:
Lucy pulls the football away from Bills Mafia yet again. Sorry Pinto Ron.
SEA 28 – IND 16:
You can’t throw a ball better than this. Especially if you’re Carson Wentz. You’re welcome, Eagles fans.
CIN 27 – MIN 24:
Fortune favors the bold. Even when they’re wearing silly-looking stripy pants.
ARI 38 – TEN 13:
Cards dominate, immediately offer to trade divisions with Texans.
HOU 37 – JAX 21:
Texans: “No thanks, we’re good. Well, we’re not good-good, but we’re better than these guys.”
LAC 20 – WAS 16:
Sewage (or “stored rain water”) included in the price of admission, but wins and healthy QBs cost extra.
NO 38 – GB 3:
Winston off to slow start in attempt to reclaim INT title.
DEN 27 – NYG 13:
Devontae Booker makes textbook block but applies it to Nate Solder instead of Von Miller.
KC 33 – CLE 29:
17 years and counting since the Browns won an opener. They were somehow both still ahead and had absolutely no chance after this.
MIA 17 – NE 16:
Grumpy old man forced to answer questions like “Ball security seemed to be an issue with four fumbles.” Continues to be grumpy.
LA 34 – CHI 14:
Stafford giddy about playing for a team that doesn’t suck. Nagy fulfills wish of getting to see Dalton play in the regular season.
LV 33 – BAL 27:
We’ll leave it to Lamar to take us home.