Quick Hits

Chuck Quick Hits: Week 1

September 14, 2021 - by David Arnett

 

With the start of the NFL season, we’re kicking off our very own Chuck Quick Hits. Let us know what you think!

TB 31 – DAL 29:

Dak is back! Brady doesn’t care.

CAR 19 – NYJ 14:

Sam Darnold plays with his shiny new toy while his old friends sadly look on.

PHI 32 – ATL 6:

Devonta Smith is for real. The Falcons are the Falcons.

SF 41 – DET 33:

Niners build insurmountable lead. Lions almost surmount it… until Goff pulls out the rarely seen game-losing intentional grounding.  

PIT 23 – BUF 16:

Lucy pulls the football away from Bills Mafia yet again. Sorry Pinto Ron.

SEA 28 – IND 16:

You can’t throw a ball better than this. Especially if you’re Carson Wentz. You’re welcome, Eagles fans.

CIN 27 – MIN 24:

Fortune favors the bold. Even when they’re wearing silly-looking stripy pants. 

ARI 38 – TEN 13:

Cards dominate, immediately offer to trade divisions with Texans. 

HOU 37 – JAX 21:

Texans: “No thanks, we’re good. Well, we’re not good-good, but we’re better than these guys.”

LAC 20 – WAS 16:

Sewage (or “stored rain water”) included in the price of admission, but wins and healthy QBs cost extra.

NO 38 – GB 3:

Winston off to slow start in attempt to reclaim INT title. 

DEN 27 – NYG 13:

Devontae Booker makes textbook block but applies it to Nate Solder instead of Von Miller.

KC 33 – CLE 29:

17 years and counting since the Browns won an opener. They were somehow both still ahead and had absolutely no chance after this.

MIA 17 – NE 16:

Grumpy old man forced to answer questions like “Ball security seemed to be an issue with four fumbles.” Continues to be grumpy

LA 34 – CHI 14:

Stafford giddy about playing for a team that doesn’t suck. Nagy fulfills wish of getting to see Dalton play in the regular season. 

LV 33 – BAL 27:

We’ll leave it to Lamar to take us home. 

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